The last time you visited - there was content here. Lots of it.
And now its gone. Gone like the person I used to be a few months ago.
The wipe out is very symbolic of my sudden shift. None of us are the same, as of what we were even a month ago. Yet we hold onto these ideas, these stories and then we struggle to let go. And I have struggled for years before.
A few months ago you would have asked me who I am, and I would have written a manifesto from the ink derived from my flesh and blood. But then what happened? My views shifted and I changed. So what was I fighting so hard for? Digging deeper even I realized that although I still hold some ideas dearly but they had come from some severe miscalculations, pain, desire and loss. Sometimes pure misunderstandings.
At a time like this I would have changed my blog one more time but do we really start over in real life? or we just morph day by day? Where’s the continuity if we keep starting fresh? Just like my human soul that houses the many forms of me as I grow, this blog’s shell houses whatever becomes of me.
What made me disappear? Life. You bet the narration of stories will not be something that will ever change about me haha. That is all me down to my core. So those stories will keep on rolling. I will still be the boisterous laughing friend when you need that or a caring shoulder to lean on. Our cores simply don’t change.
What brought me back? My love of writing, sharing and helping. But more than anything else, to see people grow and be a part of that growth. This is a bit different this time though. Back in the day I wanted to take all my lessons, remove all the pain and convert it into medicine - I would chase you to take it. So you won’t get ill like I did. But now? I hope you find me, if you need to. I hope you read what I have to say, if it helps. I won’t be the dotting mother watching each step of humanity because I trust the natural process. I trust in synchronicity. The idea that we find things, when we need to find them.
I am beyond being the newspaper that is widely distributed and skimmed by many - who are trying to digest the most sensational news. I prefer to be the book hidden in the corner of a book shelf that people fall upon, the cover and description intrigues them. They put it aside and read it when they are ready. Because those are the valuable moments and valuable lessons not just mere words written on a page.
Recap: Life went to hell and came back to better than what I had imagined in a span of exactly 365 days. I am not even making these numbers up. Many lesson learnt, hence many stories to share in the comming days. But I am ill, unaware what is happening within my body. Maybe its finally tired and knows its okay to slow down. That it is okay to rest now before the next wave of life hits me. As those things are inevitable.
Until next time - much love.
Warrior Huntress